And God Said
Detective Robert R. Surgenor

A father who was experiencing defiance with his fifteen year old son told me that he had never spanked his boy because as Christians, we are forbidden from "provoking our children to wrath." This dad had decided that since spanking his son would make him mad, it was forbidden in the Bible. Dad was referring to Ephesians 6:4 (And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath) and Colossians 3:21 (Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.)

These two verses, although in separate books of the Bible, compliment each other. The word "provoke" in Ephesians 6:4 in the original Greek text is "parorgizo" (pronounced "par-org-id'-zo) which means to "exasperate." Most Bible scholars feel that in it's context, this word refers to an antagonistic parent who belittles or is unfairly critical, causing a child to be angry. This is indeed true, and the remainder of the verse seems to substantiate this thought. The word "discouraged" in Colossians 3:21 is "athumeo" (pronounced "ath-oo-meh'-o") which means to be disheartened. The meaning here is the same. The child who is unreasonably punished becomes dysfunctional, unable to relate to others in a normal manner. This is the truly an "abused" child.

But there is another viable interpretation to these two verses. As a policeman, I have encountered many young people who seem to be "angry " at the world. There seems to be no reasonable explanation for their antagonistic attitude. These youngsters have grown up in wealthy families, with all of their needs provided for. There is only one element missing in their upbringing. That missing factor is discipline.

I believe that this may be the other meaning in Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. Much of the "exasperation" in today's youth, which is causing millions of children to be "discouraged," is being caused by parents who fail to discipline their children when even the child knows it is appropriate. It is inherent in children to interpret restrictions on their behavior as love. That feeling of being loved is re-enforced when the child is punished for wrongdoing. I feel that these scriptures not only refer to the abused child, they also refer to the child who is "left to himself" and angry with his parents for raising him in such a manner.

Proverbs 29:15 is the verse I refer to as "parenting in a nutshell." Much like John 3:16 is to the gospel, this verse in Proverbs says it all about parenting. Each word holds a great deal of meaning. The complexities of the verse are at first, not easily recognized, but like all other Bible verses, its full meaning is revealed when studied diligently.

The verse reads "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." There are several main elements to this verse, the most important being the words "rod" and "reproof." These two words, placed strategically into the verse, cannot be moved, altered, or changed without changing the entire meaning of the verse. There is one important point to keep in mind when dissecting this portion of Scripture. The word "rod," in it's original Hebrew text, is "shebet" (pronounced shay'-bet). In the context of this verse, the word means an instrument of force, or the use of corporal punishment against the child as a form of discipline. The word "reproof," in it's context "towkechah," (pronounced to-kay-khaw'), means reproof, rebuke, or a lecture given to the child for edification by the mind and soul. In almost all anti-spanking literature, the NSA attempts to interpret the "rod" as "loving guidance," implying that shepherds used the rod to guide their sheep rather than to beat them. The NSA contends that the rod is actually the reproof. In this verse, the meaning of the word "rod" is completely different than the word "reproof." These two words would not have been used in the same verse if they meant the same thing!

What the child receives through a series of spankings and lectures by their parents is "wisdom." Wisdom is not something we are born with. We accumulate wisdom as we grow, through advice and experience. Notice that the verse includes both of these parenting techniques, the rod AND reproof. One will not work well without the other! Too much of the rod and no reproof (usually in single father families) results in a child who is very regimented and disciplined, but has very little compassion or affection for others. The extremes in these cases turn out to be volunteer soldiers or mercenaries. Those raised in a home with all reproof and no rod (usually single mother families) end up having very little respect for authority and tend to involve themselves in ventures where they have power over others. You will find this attitude in the most extreme environmentalist and animal rights activists. These groups tend to defy normal cultural or societal authority in order to protect (have authority over) animals and plants that cannot defend themselves. I believe this is one of the causes for the differences between liberals and conservatives.

The second portion of the verse, "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame," details the results of a child who does not experience the "rod and reproof." A child who is "left to himself" is one who is deliberately not disciplined by his parents. "Left," in the original Hebrew text "shalach," (pronounced shaw-lakh'), means to let loose, to let go, or set free. These are children who are "empowered" by their parents. This is the child who is "left to himself" when a decision must be made concerning his welfare. This is the child who is "left to himself" to decide how to dress. This is the child who is "left to himself" to decide his curfew. This is the child who is "left to himself" when he talks back to his parents. This is the child that I end up arresting for crimes against society.

In other articles, we will examine other Bible verses that address corporal punishment. You will see that God not only recommends that we spank our children for defiant behavior, He demands it

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