The Anti-Spanking Movement

Because I Said So!
Detective Robert R. Surgenor

When I was growing up, it was not a common thing for me to question an order from my parents. The few times I did ask why I was required to do something, I received the same answer from my dad and mom, "Because I said so!" My parents may not have realized it at the time, but they were preparing me for the real world, where we are not always entitled to question a direct order from authority.

Today's child rearing "experts" feel differently. The modern psychologist argues that the child should be treated much like an adult, and that the youngster is entitled to all of the rights and privileges of the parent. I recently attended a High School commencement ceremony, where the speaker told the parents in the audience, "Your children deserve your respect. 'Because I said so' just doesn't cut it any more!"

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan came to Berea to speak at Baldwin Wallace College. I was one of the police officers assigned to the president's protection detail along with numerous Secret Service agents. After the president concluded his speech, he indicated to us that he wanted to go across the street and visit the Cleveland Browns football team at their practice facility. There was one problem. We had to clear a route for the president's limousine to cross the street and enter the driveway of the Brown's practice facility, and it was being blocked by hundreds of anti-Reagan protestors.

We politely advised the protestors that they had to move. We were immediately met with a barrage of questions. One woman wanted to know why we were violating her right to free speech. Another protestor, waving his sign, "Reagan is a murderer," yelled "I want to know why we have to move!" A teenage girl pointed at my face and stated, "Until you tell us what law we're violating, I'm not moving!"

It is not the practice of the Secret Service to telegraph the movements of the president. In fact, the feds usually disguise the president's route in order to protect him from organized attacks on the motorcade. Sometimes they send out a "fake" motorcade and then send the president in another direction. When the Secret Service clears the route, they are not required to advise anyone why they are doing so. The public is required by law to comply with the request of the agents. They are not entitled to an explanation.

About half of the protestors changed their mind when the paddy wagon pulled up. A large number continued to insist on an explanation of why they were required to move. Even as they were placed in handcuffs and hauled away, they continued to yell, "You are required to tell me why you are arresting me!" These protestors obviously were never required to comply with the authority of their parents, simply, "because they said so."

When I was a patrolman on the road, I encountered an increasing number of young people who insisted on an explanation of my enforcement action. On one traffic stop, dispatch advised me that the young man I had pulled over had a warrant out of Cleveland. When I approached the car and advised the young man to exit the vehicle, he insisted to know why he was required to get out of his car. When I advised him that there was a warrant for his arrest, he insisted on knowing the details. I tried explaining that I did not know the details, but it was a good warrant and he was required to go with me. The young man stated, "I'm not going anywhere until I get an explanation!" The young man ended up fighting with three officers, all the while yelling, "You can't do this until you tell me what this is about!" He ended up being charged with Resisting Arrest in addition to the Cleveland charges. Obviously, this young man was never told by his parents, "Because I said so."

William and Martha Sears, a husband and wife team of so called "child rearing experts," state in their book, The Discipline Book, "The traditional way of disciplining, authoritarianism, focuses on parents as authority figures whom children must obey or face the consequences. As one authoritarian father put it: 'I'm the dad, he's the child, and that's that! I don't need this modern psychology stuff. If he gets out of line, I'll show him who's boss.' Many problems can occur with authoritarian parenting. The child who is told he must obey 'or else' may behave, but he does so out of fear, not respect. 'Honor thy father and mother' is the wise and time-honored teaching; not fear them."

You will notice that the Sears' take a swipe at the Bible. William and Martha Sears know even less about the Bible than they do about child rearing. Most of the "Anti-Spanking" and "Positive Parenting" crowd know very little about what God teaches.

When God provided Moses with the Ten Commandments on mount Sinai, they weren't a list of "debatable subjects." They were commands! Deuteronomy 5:32 says, "Ye shall observe to do therefore as the Lord your God hath commanded you: ye shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left." In Deuteronomy 12:32, God instructs the children of Israel, "What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it." This certainly doesn't sound like a God who is asking for a debate on his instruction. God is basically saying, "Do what I tell you to do and don't question me."

Proverbs 31:17 tells us, "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." There are times when terrible harm can come to a child if they do not immediately comply with the instruction of the parent. My children understood that there were times that they were to comply with my orders simply "because I said so!"